
WOW. I cannot believe it is May 19th, 2011. I have missed a lot and I apologize for keeping all of you out of the loop and hoping that some of you would still continue to read. I have faith in the Goddess that she will motivate me again to write and inform myself and others on whatever comes into my path.
Too much has been happening in my life. I graduated from my university on Friday the 13th. I wish the goddess would have alerted me to the fact that I graduated on Friday the 13th because I had too much trouble getting to the ceremony. The trouble started weeks prior but you know what, it doesn't matter because I completed my degree. I am currently attending a community college to finish up my minor which is in biology. I am very proud of myself and since then I have been relaxing and preparing for school and applying for jobs in the real world.
The end of the semester was hard as Hades but I did it. Although there were flames biting at me every step of the way there were cold fronts that moved in to cool the flames. This cool breathe of the goddess came in the form of my partner, rituals, and friends.
My partner has been too wonderful to me during the end of my semester. He was always there to support me and I unfortunately was not the nicest to him during the dark times. hahha. For making it through the hell I think that he is going to get a really good graduation gift from me! ;) hahah.
The other day after stressing out about everything going on in my life Bobby and I went on a beautiful hike on the Urban Trail in town. It was beautiful but I also had a mission. I needed to ground again and do a meditative walk The urban trail is perfect because it goes all through town. I brought Rafiki with us and he enjoyed it thoroughly. 
There are beautiful trees that symbolized the flow of life. The Ponderosa Pines are strong and resilient trees. They take all the wind in Flagstaff is stride! There was also a lovely uprooted tree that had a root sticking out that was perfect for a wand so I had to grab it. Of course had the tree root not been ready to come off I wouldn't have taken it but I feel as if the tree allowed me to take it! 
Along the way there were various animals, Bobby and I were training our eyes and I am happy to say both of us found creatures that neither of us could see. I was proud of us.
I was the first one to see this chipmunk. He was so cute and let me get really close till Rafiki started barking. 
The only problem with this hike is that the stream that runs along side of the trail is a reclaimed water area. It was originally a natural stream thru Flagstaff but because of daming there is no natural flow until the snow comes and melts. We walked all the way to the lake that the city has made that contains waste water effluent as they call it. If you do not know anything about reclaimed water I would suggest looking it up. The water is filtered and cleaned by the city and is deemed suitable for wildlife to drink from and to live around, yet the sign on the lake says WARNING: DO NOT USE!
How is this safe water? Shouldn't all life have access to clean water? And why don't the majority of people in this world value the environment and all more-than-human life? (The phrase more-than-human comes from a book I read called the Spell of the Sensuous by David Abram look it up if you get a chance) I took a class this semester entitled Gender, Nature, Culture and this was the most eye opening experience. I will making a post about all of the books I read and give reviews for anyone who is interested in educating themselves can do so.
The lake is a perfect example of the intersection between Culture and Nature. Seeing the sign at the lake helped open my eyes and remind me that I have a lot to accomplish in this world still!
This hike was beautiful and I am so happy B. and I went on it!
I owe him a lot for helping me ground and keep my insanity in check and for that I say THANK YOU AND BLESSED BE!
Friends have always been a help and will continue to be help. The wonderful thing is that I found a best friend in someone that I never thought would end up being that close to me. She has helped me so much this semester and I hope she continues to remain in my life. Rebekka you are divine in all senses of the word and am so happy that found someone I can lean on and learn from and I hope you know I am there for you! I share some of the most out there ideas and some of the most connecting ideas with you and because of you my spiritual knowledge has grown tremendously!
Friends are the rocks that I lean on and consider them as close as fmaily. DJ, Mari, and Sebbi love you boys! DJ- we did it!
The other factor that helped to get me through the end of the semester was ritual! From April to May 18th I did four big rituals. For some people that might not seem like a lot but for many of them I was leading different aspects. The first was a full moon ritual. It was really basic and a good way to set intention for the coming month which was the end of my career at NAU. This was very grounding and I am thankful it happened.
The next ritual that came was Beltane! Beltane was beautiful and I will be making a post about the ritual of Beltane in the coming days!
Then I had my class ritual. For one of my classes this semester we had to design a ritual that focused on bringing awareness to the land of Flagstaff and balancing the energies of fire and water in the area. That is also going to be part of the post on Beltane. Keep your eyes open for it!
Then finally my club (unbeknown st to me) designed a whole ritual for me and graduating. I had no idea that they were doing this and I was blown away. To be honest it made me tear up a bit to hear all the things people wanted to say to me and about me. I feel blessed that the club thought it fitting to send me off with some guidance! That will be a separate post as well.
Thank you all for holding out and waiting for me to return. I knew it would happen I was just not sure when.
Blessed be and look forward to those posts!!!
Friday, May 20, 2011
I found the Path Back!
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 11:44 AM 4 comments
Labels: environmental justice, graduation, hike, ritual
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Winner of the Ostara Giveaway

Thank you all so much for your entries! I am so excited about that everyone participated!
I entered the numbers into a machine and the winner is...
WENDY!!!
From The Year of the Cats!
Congrats Wendy I will be contacting you to find out your info to send you the giveaway prizes!
Again thank you all.
Sorry for the delay things have been crazy for me!
I can't wait to show you all what I have been working on!
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 2:24 PM 5 comments
Labels: Annual Ostara Giveaway
Monday, March 21, 2011
ANNUAL OSTARA GIVEAWAY!
Hello and Happy Spring to you ALL!!
Today marks the first annual Ostara Giveaway!
In this wonderful giveaway I am sending out into the universe four lovely heartfelt items for the spring!
First we have the lovely picture of the Goddess with a poem written on it.
Then we have the lovely postcard hand drawn by a Hopi woman that I know very well. The drawing is of the butterfly maiden and this card was inspired by the butterfly dance of the Hopi people. This card means a lot as the butterfly is my spirit guide and I think the colors are very spring!
Next we have a handmade beaded necklace that my mother made! It has a pouch so that you can place small stone of totems in it.
Then last but not least is the Ostara basket. In this basket are hand picked egg like stones that have been blessed in my Ostara ritual and have been sitting on my altar for weeks now!
I am very excited about this giveaway! I hope others are as well. The event will run for one week. Help me get the word out!
ENTRIES:
For having the button you will get 2 entries
Blogging about this will get you 1 entry
Also being or becoming a follower of the blog gets your 1 entry
And for the last entry tell me what your favorite post is on my blog. This will get you 1 entry.
Please post all the comments separately and do not hesitate to tell others!
And a last but not least thank you to Wendy over at The Year of Cats who made the button for me!
Blessed be!
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 9:33 AM 18 comments
Labels: Annual Ostara Giveaway
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Welcoming the God...what will you do?!

WELCOMING THE GOD
As I am sitting down to write this post I discovered that I am not sure what I want to write about. Working with the God is not an easy task for me. As a “recovering” Catholic, as I call myself, I have many reservations about working with the God. I am constantly reminded that the reason I left the church is that “God” is a judgmental prick who’s followers are hypocritical and unkind. Now I do not want to rant because I do not entirely feel that way anymore. Yes I still believe many people in the church are judgmental but that doesn’t mean I should generalize.
So back to the reason I am writing for this blog party. I honestly feel like I turned my back on the God completely. I was assuming that if I worked with the God in my new spiritual path that it would be rekindling flames from the Catholic God. This is simply not true.
The beautiful thing about the pagan God is that he is ever transforming and does not show what it means to be a man by societal standards, rather he shows his masculinity in many different ways. As Starhawk says in her wonderful book The Spiral Dance
He is difficult to understand, because He does not fit into any of the expected stereotypes, neither those of the “macho” male nor the reverse-images of those who deliberately seek effeminacy. He is gentle, tender, and comforting, but He is also the Hunter. He is the dying God but His death is always in the service of the life force. He is the power of feeling, and the image of what men could be if they were liberated from the constraints of patriarchal culture. (1999)
This is what I imagine the God to be like. I do not fit the mold as to what it means to be a man in this society. However with paganism I feel I fit just fine. There is no need to try and impress anyone by being manlier because I am manly enough. The God is about finding the balance in this world. He is strong but he is loving and kind. He is the Hunter but he is also the Lover. Without him the Goddess would be lacking a partner. She could create life by herself but there needs to be the balance.
My mentor is a Dianic Witch and sometimes I worry that when I first started this path I was a God hater. I felt like there was no place for the God in my life. I expected him to be the Catholic God. I can safely say that after 3 years of being on my new spiritual path I am ready to work with the God. I started my work with him on the last summer solstice. Since then I have been open to the idea but have not fully explored it. The last activity I did with the God was during Imbolc while making a priapic wand. This wand is shaped like a penis shows the depth of the interconnectedness of the God and Goddess. 
The wand is shaped like a penis because it is supposed to welcome the spring. The phallic shape is also linked to the growth of spring plants. If the goddess is the Earth then the God must use his seed to help the growth process happen on Earth. I never made the connection between the God and spring. I always just assumed that the spring was a Goddess activity. Yes Spring has a special place for the Goddess but the God is celebrated as the light returns. The days get longer which means he is getting closer and closer. For spring he is the young green man who is courting the maiden Goddess.
Learning of the God’s cycle in Paganism was very important in my understanding of the God.
In spring he is the green youth, in Summer he and the Goddess are married marked by Maypoles and bonfires. At Lughnasad he is mourned for he has died, but what we learn is that he has not really died, he is on his way to the Goddess’s womb where he will grow and become a young soul again and guide others at Samhain, and finally he is reborn again at Winter Solstice when the days have little light and are waiting for him to grow strong again.
This cycle is why I have come to respect the God. His life is intertwined with the Goddess. I do not believe we should have one and ignore the other. In my life balance of energies is important and this cycle proves how important balance really is. Not only do the Goddess and the God find balance with each other but they find balance within themselves. The God finds the balance of masculinity and femininity in himself. This is the take home message. To be a man in Paganism is not related to being a man in society. Exploring the masculine sides of life does not mean you have to drink beer and watch football. To me it is about finding the balance in your life. The masculine side of life has many beautiful lessons to teach us.
As I was walking on a hike this weekend I was reminded that the God’s presence is ever growing. No matter what name you call him by he is there. I think one of my missions this summer will be to find a male deity I feel comfortable working with (One might be Apollo but I need to figure that out). As new leaves spring forth from plants I cannot help but think he has something to do with it. From now till Lughnasad I will be wielding my priapic wand in my circle. I think that in order to start working more with the God and learning more I need to just dedicate myself to a practice. This will be hard but it is my challenge to myself for this upcoming summer season. What will your challenge be? Is it to even just work with the God? To acknowledge him? Whatever you decide to do in this upcoming season remember that the God is all around just like the Goddess. Call on him in time of need and learn the secrets he has to teach us. 
I will leave you all with a chant to call him near!
Repeating Chant to the God
SEED Sower GRAIN Reborn HORNED ONE COME!
BRIGHT Sun DARK Death Lord of the Winds COME
The SUN Child The Winter-Born King
IO! EVOHE IO! EVOHE
(Pronounced Yoh! Ay-VOH-hay!)
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 7:13 AM 1 comments
Labels: Welcoming the God
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
How are you Welcoming the God?

This week is my Spring Break and I have been loving it. I have the post over at Country Witch Tomorrow for Welcoming the God. Super excited for you all to read what I wrote. It has been the catalyst I needed to start my next spiritual adventure. Encountering the God. I am challenging myself with a secret. You will have to wait to see what it is.
Then on the 21st of March, I am having my FIRST GIVEAWAY!!!!!!
It is a giveaway for Ostara.
Check back for details of what comes with the giveaway on the 21st. I can tell you one of the treats will be a basket of Ostara Eggs blessed in my Ostara ceremony!
The contest opens on the 21st and will be open for one week! On my sidebar is the button so you can grab one for an extra entry to win!
Till then Blessed be!
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 3:18 PM 2 comments
Labels: Annual Ostara Giveaway, Welcoming the God
Japanese Character of the Week
I was not sure what I could do to help the people in Japan in a spiritual way. I know I can donate money and that is good and has its place but what can I do spiritually.
I figured I would ask Bobby if we could do a character in the ground for them.
I thought of fortune and he said that that has two characters or something like that so he came up with good luck or "fuku".
Here it is. I hope this sends some good luck over to the people in Japan. I will also be partaking in a prayer vigil for Japan. My mother-in-law said she participated in one and then the Berlin wall fell so we shall see that results.
Blessed be Japan we are all sending you healing Vibes!
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 9:09 AM 2 comments
Labels: Character of the Week
Friday, March 11, 2011
Ouroboros

This morning I was working on an essay I had to complete and turn in before I offically started my spring break! I cant wait to be able to just relax.
Any way. I was busy typing when my puppy Rafiki started to chase his tail. It was the cutest thing I had seen since I woke up. He looked like an Ouroboros so I had to takea picture.
The ancient Ouroboros is a symbol of a snake or dragon eating its own tail and is a symbol of self-reflexivity and eternal return. It is a symbol of cycles just like the Phoenix.
This symbol is also special because the NPA is working on a symbol that will represent the group and part of the symbol is the Ouroboros. The snake circles our pentagram which has many other symbols in the pentagram. I will make sure to post it once we have an offical design.
Just wanted to post these amazingly cute pics of Rafiki!
Hope you are all ready for a beautiful weekend!
Blessed be
Posted by Ponderosa Pagan at 9:10 AM 3 comments
Labels: Neo-Pagan Alliance, ouroboros, rafiki
