Shamanism and the Horse

AFter watching this amazing documentary called, The Horse Boy, on netflix I had a lot on my mind. The documentary follows a family of three on a journey that forever changes their lives. The story is about Rowan, an 8 year old who has autism, and his parents journey to Mongolia to see if Shamanic rituals can help heal Rowan. His mother is a psychologist and teaches at a university and she has the most doubts about the journey. His father, Rupert, studies the Bushmen of Africa and is the reason the family is making the journey to Mongolia.
Rupert has a love for horses and one day when he took Rowan to the stable he noticed something peculiar. The animals didn't mind Rowan's behaviors. They had an amazing patience with him, it was as if they had an unspoken bond that his father could only observe from a far. Rowan's father Rupert stumbled upon something extraordinary. He noticed that his quarter-horse mare, Betsy, displayed submissive body language to the two year old boy whenever he wandered, babbling and spasmodic, into the horse pasture. Intrigued, Rupert put him up on the mare's back. Immediately the 'stimming' (self-stimulation) stopped, replaced by an unusual, even blissful calm. The next day Rupert took Rowan riding with him, holding him in front of him in the saddle. Not only did the shrieking and jerking cease, Rowan began to talk.

Rupert got to thinking about how the people he worked with viewed their shamans as healers that contact the spirits and use various chants and tools to heal their patients. He wondered if there were any shamans around the world that worked with horses? What he found would change his life forever. He discovered that the shamans of Mongolia honor and work with the horse and have for thousands of years.
With much convincing his wife agreed that they would make the journey to Mongolia. Much preparation goes into the adventure. Rupert had to find a guide that would take them from the city they land in to the forests of Siberia close to the Russian border where they will find the Reindeer people. The shaman of this tribe is rumored to be the most powerful shaman of the land. The hopes is that they will be able to get a meeting with the shaman for a healing.
After word got around that Rowan and his parents were coming to Mongolia to find shamans to try and heal Rowan many of the gathered outside of the city the day they all arrived. In total there were 9 shamans gathered. The shamans were from various places around the city and they were men and women. The wonderful thing about most shamanistic cultures is that womyn as well as men can be shamans and even in some cultures womyn were the only shamans. As Rowan and his parents arrived at the base of the sacred mountain outside of the city the shamans started to get ready. All of them have an assistant that helps them get into their outfits as they are very elaborate. The picture you see is of the last shaman of the Oroqen people. His name is Chuonnasuan and he died along with his tradition in 2000.
The Shamans who helped Rowan all had one thing in common, the drum. The beating of the drum allows the shaman to achieve an altered state of consciousness or to travel on a journey between the physical and spiritual worlds. You need to watch to see how Rowan reacts to the drums. But anyway, as the shamans worked, they would have messages and other instructions for the family to do as he or she worked. Interestingly all of the shamans believed that Rowan's mother had a woman in her lineage that had a mental disease and that is why Rowan has his illness. Also one of the shamans said that a negative spirit entered her womb as she was giving birth and she had to run and ritually cleanse her vagina. ( I hope me using that term is not offensive, I work with the vagina monologues and the term is second nature to me)
The family leaves those shamans and heads out on their journey. I will let you watch the movie to find out how that went!
After days of traveling the family finally finds the Reindeer people and the shaman agrees to see Rowan. The clip they have of the shaman performing his ceremony is not the best quality but it is powerful. The shaman tells them they have to leave after the ritual and the next day he tells them what he found. He says that Rowan will get better. He says the tantrums will stop the day of the ritual and that one day Rowan will be a shaman. For many socities with shamans they believe that Shamans have to get sick. They get very sick because they need to understand how their patients could feel. And also to make it through a great sickness means you are strong and are meant to be the shaman.
Over all the story is amazingly beautiful. I cried many times ( I am a cry baby) but it was worth every minute. I am happy to say that when I was posting this blog I researched the family and they have started a foundation to help children with Autism to learn to ride horses. Check it out. The Horse Boy Foundation



This movie has really sparked something in me. I have really become fascinated with Shamans. As I was doing my research I discovered that shamans used to be the healers of Hungary. In fact there were shamans there until about World War II.
My great grandfather on my father's mother's side is from Hungary. He was studying to be a rabbi and had to flee to America. I want to go talk to my grandmother to see if she has any stories from her father. I want to see if she can give me any hints to see if there are any links in my heritage to pagans. Not necessarily a "witch" but maybe there are stories or folklore that can deepen my path. I would love to have some personal stories to put in my book of shadows and work with in the future.
I found an awesome story of a Hungarian Shaman named Joska . His story is mostly what I want to ask my grandma to see if anything like this was around when my great grandfather wandered the streets of Hungary.

I have decided that I will make a post about Slavic Mythology! Hope you all look forward to it!

Blessings!

Fall Cleaning

This past weekend Bobby, Rafiki and I went to work on our gardens and yard. When Bobby and I started our new garden in the spring we new it wasn't going to be easy but I personally felt that we would receive some sort of crop from it...and we didn't. Well that is not entirely true becuase for the first time Bobby and I both cultivated our first crop. Our sunflowers grew big and strong this year and when they died we happily collected the seeds to plant next year. This was a learning experience for me because it is another reminder that nature and the natural order of things takes time. A garden is not something that can be perfect in the first year, especially when we are taking clay like soil and working to turn it black and full of life. The garden we planted in will be much better next year and the years to come. Using Bobby's permaculture knowledge and our combined hard efforts we hope to have some crops next year. For fall cleaning in that garden we chopped down the stems of the sunflowers and mulched them. Then we raked leaves from the yard into the garden. We have been doing this for a couple weeks now and there is a nice layer of decaying mulch that is adding to the nutrition of the soil! We have also been burying compost in that garden. I have seen the wonders of composting and am hoping that this soil will really enjoy what the compost can do for it and help the plants to grow strong next year.
Once that garden was done we moved onto the garden the Bobby created 4 years ago. It is a more native species garden. There are species native to AZ and species that survive in the desert climate. In Sedona it does get cold so he had to keep that into consideration and he must have done it right because the plants he picked have grown wonderfully! One of the best growers was the thyme plant. It turned into a field of time. This is a pic of Rafiki playing in it!

We trimmed all the plants in the garden getting them ready for the winter so they can grow back big and strong. We also added layers of mulch to this ground to help further the growth of the garden. Rafiki was helping out by digging a hole for us. He was very proud of himself. One of the plants I was happy to see get trimmed was the rosemary plant. I don't have any fresh homegrown rosemary in my witch cabinet so I thought that cutting the rosemary with a spiritual intention and drying it would be a good chance for me to experiment with herbs more.

While Bobby was busy trimming away, I was working on the weeds. The weeds have gotten a little out of control in a part of the yard so I decided that I was going to get at them. They needed a good talking to. I pulled them out for an hour or so then when I was done I had to make a decision. I wanted to compost them somehow, but as Bobby reminded me since they have stickers and are weeds they could grow back and would benefit no one. So I decided to throw them away, but as I did this I said a blessing over them. I wanted to make sure that I sent the intention for the weeds to grow and multiply in the landfill. I wanted them to help break down all that garbage so that one day instead of toxic waste in the landfill there will be a luscious garden waiting to burst through.
Next come the house and I can't wait to get on that so we can have a safe haven inside durin the winter months!!
I hope everyone is staying warm if it is cold where you are or if you are in the Southern Hemisphere (*cough* Nydia *cough*) enjoy the weather. I hear it is nice!

Blessed Be!

Samhain and the turning Wheel

Samhain was AMAZING!!!
It was a wonderful ritual and so much good energy was raised. This was my second year participating in a Samhain ritual. My mentor Madrone invited me to her house along with 15 other people to gather for Samhain. The difference between last year and this year is that I was going to be "the guide" for our Samhain journey. This meant that when the individual going on the journey started from the fire I would instruct them to pick a black bag to place the items they gathered along their way. When I arrived at the house Madrone, Rich, and Kalaana were getting the house ready and finishing the outside path everyone was going to walk. With all of them running around so much Madrone turned to me and asked me to sage the backyard. I was really excited to be asked to do this because I view saging as setting the stage for the ritual. As I went outside and lit the sage wand, which was from Madrone and Rich's wedding, I cleared my mind and got myself ready to purify the space. As I got the smoke going I imagined all the negative energies leaving and asking that only good and positive energies to move in. I felt as if I was standing in my power in that moment. I took my time doing the saging and when I was finished I felt ready.
Everyone started arriving about an half an hour after I saged. Madrone got her list out and once she saw everyone was here we were ready. To start the ritual we gathered in the kitchen of Madrone's house. We introduced ourselves so that we could loosen the tension and then Madrone explained what was going to happen.
After the introductions were completed Madrone, Betty, and Terez went outside with Kalaana, and Rich. Betty and Terez were the ones that were doing the actual saging. I was at the top of the stairs waiting for all of the facilitators to get in place so I could send the individuals going on the journey down the stairs to be saged. Once they were ready I went into the kitchen to have everyone head to the door to go down to get saged. Everything was going well and we only had 3 people to go and of course what happens? Robyn one of the participants missed the step from the door to the landing and fell down. Luckily she didn't hurt herself too bad, she received a bloody lip, but to be truthful I felt horrible. I felt like I was trusted with guiding all these people to their journey and before we could even start the journey a person fell. After that happened I felt like I was good for nothing. I couldn't sage the area properly otherwise she wouldn't have tripped. But later I found out she tripped over by the Crone so I felt as if it partly was the woman's doing not on purpose but her body had a reason for tripping so often.
Then after all the participants had gone through saging I went threw. Betty and Terez saged us and that I felt a little better.
We gathered around the fire to start the ritual and I read the greeting. It was a welcoming and calling to the audience. The hersotry told us that we would be meeting three goddesses along the way, Babe Yaga, the Shadow, and the Crone. The reading told us to wait in quite gratitude for our chance to journey with the goddesses.
As Baba Yaga rang her bell (not a high pitched bell but a low resounding bell) I would direct the participant to grab a black pouch for items they will gather along the way and send them on their journey. This took almost a couple of hours with 14 of us going on the journey. After the last person left I put out the fire and heading to Baba Yaga myself.
Baba Yaga is the grandmother who lives in the forest. She is not your average normal sweet grandma. Many people think she is an evil crone who lurks in the forests of Eastern Europe with her house made of bones that moves with two giant chicken feet. In her cottage children go missing regularly and for many Baba Yaga is a scary woman. But do not fret, for some Baba Yaga has an important message. During our Samhain ritual Baba Yaga meets you outside of her hut and leads you into the dark hut. Inside it was dark. Baba Yaga tells us that we need to look into ourselves. She handed us a mortar and pestle to smell death
and she asks us what we need to leave behind then leaves us to sit in the darkness.
When Baba enters again she tells us to have courage and that we will move on to the Shadow but that she will always be here in the forest to strip us to our bones. She then hands you a rune to place in you bag.

My rune was Raidho! It is the rune that looks like an R. This rune is the rune of travel. Literally it means journey or ride. This rune is about the journey of life.
From there we move to the Shadow. The Shadow is always hard for me. To look in the mirror and see yourself and what you are most afraid of or worried about is not an easy thing. The way the Shadow was explained to me is that when we meet someone who we cannot get along with or do not particularly like we have encountered our Shadow. It is not something that we want to examine because to do that would mean we would have to fix something about ourselves. It is so much easier to point at someone else who has a characteristic we don't like than to say that is what I do not like about myself and I need to change me first. The Shadow gave us a mirror with an invocation to the dark goddess.
The Invocation says:
Out of the darkness light shines,
In shadow there are lessons waiting
To be brought to light.
The Dark Goddess, Queen of Mysteries
reveals to us truth from the night.

After the Shadow comes the Crone. At the crone you draw a crone card of wisdom and receive a stone from the Crone. She imparts her wisdom and luckily the Crone is my spirit mama and I got some extra wisdom which was wonderful!
After leaving the Crone you journey to the divination room and since I was the last one everyone was stirring around and chit chatting. So once all the goddesses could join us we gathered in a circle for the giveaway. The way the giveaway was explained to me is that it is a Native American tradition that one uses to cleanse and rid yourself of some negative energy or some items that symbolize those feelings. The items do not have to be about negative feelings for example one woman gave a plant away because she was experiencing growth in her life. The funny thing is that she got the plant back in the giveaway, which usually signifies an important lesson for the individual. The way it works is whoever goes first picks the bag they want and whoever's giveaway the got explains what it is. After the explanation the individual who picked it can say how they feel if they would like or just accept the giveaway with gratitude.The wonderful thing is that by giveing up these items you are cleansing yourself and the item of those energies so the next person to inherit them are just blessed with a new gift.
As the people picked bags I wondered who would pick mine. You know the gods certainly have a sense of humor because the person to pick my item was Robyn the woman who tripped. I had been worrying the whole night that she was mad at me and when she grabbed my bag I was in shock. My giveaway had a lot in it. There was a book called witchcraft medicine that I put in there, a small tarot deck, a rune set with book, and a yellow stone from my summer camp. All these items represented what I wanted to accomplish during the Samhain season. Divination and introspection is something that I want so I passed on two of my divination tools. The book and rock symbolized letting go of certain attachments that no longer serve any purpose in my life. They are wonderful memories and I will never forget them but it was time to leave my life.
Once Robyn saw everything she started crying. Apparently she is newer to the craft and she wanted to learn as much as she could but her mind had absorbed as much as she could that night and she was sad. She was sad because she wanted to look up her rune and find out about it but didn't have the energy. She said she was grateful to have reading and new tools to explore with. And just like that we hugged and the universe corrected my night. The giveaway I picked next was Madrone's. I was surprised to get her giveaway. Inside was the abundance candle she created on the Blue Moon on the New Year. I was unable to make that ritual so I am happy that I can not say that I feel like apart of it. Also in there was a picture Madrone took and a moldavite necklace piece!


We ended with wonderful food that everyone brought and I was stuffed. I left that night feel accomplished and enlightened. I had many things to work on during the dark part of the year!
Blessings to all on the introspective journey of the dark season!

Full Moon and Samhain ritual!

Last Sunday the Neo-Pagan Alliance gathered for our first ritual of the semester. It was a wonderful occasion. Full moons always seem to be a great ritual to have bonding experiences. It was a great chance to gather and celebrate in a new way and share sacred space with others. For this ritual we went out to Kachina Village outside of town and I honestly did not know what to expect. Katie one of our memebers suggested the location (I believe she has done ritual there before or just hung out) and it was amazing!

To be honest one of my top three places I think I have seen in Flagstaff for ritual. It lwas a mini mountain/clif/huge rock thing. I don't know how best to describe it. We walked up one side of the mountain and it was fairly easy to get up, we wondered through some lava rocks and came to the clifs edge area. It was a beautiful open space as you can see in the picture. The cliff was about I would say 2 stories high. When you faced north on the plateau you look down and see a big pond with tons of reeds. It was honestly beautiful. In the middle of the plateau there was a huge rock that we used as our altar and it was absolutely designed for that purpose. It had a place to put all of our candles, sage, and items to charge in the full moon light!
Before the ritual started Katie told us that there were caves below the cliff and that we could get to them. I was super excited and said take me there now please! It was awesome. The cave kinda looks like a giant took a slice out of the middle side of a cake.
It formed an acute triangle and was perfect to sit under. There was also a crack from the cave to the top of the plateau so of course I had to climb up it. Mark and I decided to go through it. Ps check out his blog it is called Behind the Vines. A few people were still down in the caves while I was looking at hte lake and was starting to focus on ritual, when all of a sudden, one of our members started playing her flute. It was magnificent. She was hidden in the cave so it reminded me of a movie. It was a lovely song that fit the mood perfectly. The wind was blowing Erins dress. She looked like Eowin from Lord of the rings! It was magical.
We gathered everyone together. Discussed what we were going to do in the ritual and then waited for it to get darker. As the light dimmed and the temperature dropped the group was ready. We found two rocks that we used as an entrance way to our ritual area and where we were saged. Liz did the saging for the group and then we went into calling the directions. Mark did west, Caitlin did north, Erin did east and Becca did south. I really enjoyed Becca's call to the direction of the south, I found it moving and inspirational. With the directions invited I cast the Circle. I used a circle casting from my mentor Madrone. It is a wodnerful circle because it focuses on each direction as part of the goddesses body. I also used a flash light as a modern day wand if you will. I was using the flashlight to focus the energy and represent the light of the full moon!
Once that was done we were going to light some candles on the altar for our ancestors and I had a feeling that everyone should light a tea light candle for there own personal ancestors. It was one of those ideas that the goddess sent down and I just went with it.
It was very nice and to have the rock altar all lite up like that was great! Next Becca did the invocation of the goddess and then played another song. We had some alone time to meditate and clear our minds. A time to appreciate the silence and cold and start the introspection process of the dark period of the year.
Mark lead our calling down of the moon. We each had a cup that had water in. The water was Katie's sacred water so that was special. We blessed the water to make our three wishes. On the full moon my mentor taught me to make three wishes. One for yourself, one for someone else, and one for the Earth. I don't know of many other witches who does this but I love the tradition.
So I pass it on to who ever I can. The magic of the moon is amazing and can help heal many wounds. I was very stressed that day but during the ritual I relaxed. I calmed down and allowed myself to observe what was around me. Knowing that the group was holding sacred space for each other was comforting. I was so happy to be apart of thsi experience. After the wishes I am pretty sure everyone was very cold so we took down the circle and said goodbye to the directions and the goddess.
Afterwards we shared some wonderful moon cakes that our member Kelli made. She couldn't be at the ritual but her cakes were there and she was also there in spirit.
Over all a wonderful experience.

Tonight is my big Samhain ritual and I cannot wait! I am really excited to strip my soul to the bones and start over for the new year. Update on the ritual soon to come!
Blessings to you all!

Giveaway!

So Today is the 20th day of Halloween over at Mrs. B's blog. Go check it out. My favorite is the Intuitive Goddess reading! I am really hoping for that one (hint hint goddess hahaha). And don't forget that for the rest of the summer she will be holding this wonderful blog event.

Also over at Nydia's blog there is her amazing giveaway going on. Check it out I am hoping for a mini god to match my mini goddess!


And last but not least I won a giveaway over at Following the Path as a Thrifty Pagan!. I am super excited to see what the pentacle is going to look like!

I am getting more and more inspired for my giveaway. I hope it is coming soon.
Have a wonderful day and don't forget to wear purple today for Spirit Day!

Thanks all!
Blessed be!

TIme for a spiritual hike

I would like to just say that I am finally starting to get into the Samhain season and am LOVING IT!
This weekend was a big part of it. I had a wonderful time with my partner and our amazing friends Brad and Matt. I cant forget to mention that we both had our adorable dachshund's Darci and Rafiki. Rafiki is mine and he is just a joy! He and his sister had so much fun romping around the creek!
But anyway back to the season. The boys came down for a couples retreat which was perfect! We had some champagne, dinner, and fun laughs. We woke up on Sunday morning and made AMAZING breakfast. Then we headed to the creek.

I wasn't really thinking that it was going to be a terribly spiritual event but it turned out to be what helped me to realize the seasons were changing. When you live in a Pine Forest you don't get to see the leaves change. (although that is not entirely true because the Aspens up on Mt. Humphrehys change and I can't wait for pics of that).
Down in Sedona by the creek there happens to be many signs that the fall faeries have been at work. The hike was honestly so beautiful. Walking along the creek with the boys, dogs, and my partner combined with the magic of Sedona and the creek is what I needed to help shake the negativity I have been carrying around with me.
On the way to our destination there were trees that were starting to change colors. The yellows, oranges, and reds whispered to me "Samhain is on its way. Are you ready?" As if that was not enough our walk led up to the most beautiful doorway I had seen by the creek. There was a patch of grass that the dogs loved and a doorway of trees above.
That is my friend brad over there. He was my model but didn't know it. (side note check out his blog Chronicles of an Ex-Smoker)
Next came the huge Cottonwood tree that was basically parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the creek. It was an awesome break that just invited us to climb all over it and even a place for the puppies to take their first steps in a creek.
Darci really liked it but Rafiki was having none of it. We continued on our hike further down the creek area.
As we traversed the landscape we had to climb up mini mountains, past cactus, down a rock face, between a tree and rock, and pass the puppies over a part in the creek. It was intense and I loved every second of it. The further we went and the harder I had to work the less I thought about troubles. They all seemed to fade away. I was focused on the hike and the nature around us. I saw some cool lizards and one fish. The water is very sediment filled. We hiked for about and hour and a half and then decided to turn on back around. This picture is where we stopped and went back. I love how peaceful the water looks behind the branches.

In our garden in Sedona we have experienced the end of our growing season. There are a few things popping up that I am not sure about but we will see what becomes of them. The sunflowers died so we chopped them down and broke them up. We layed them on the garden to become mulch for next years growing season. Even the pear tree is showing signs of Fall coming.

I am getting more and more excited for this season!
Can't wait for more and more signs of fall!

PS after that long hike Rafiki was totally tired! Isn't he so cute?!



Blessed BE!

Inspiring Witches

AS mentioned in the post before I am participating in two blog parties this Samhain season. This post is for the blog party ran by the wonderful blog A College Witch's Experience.
This post is about the witches real or imaginary who inspire us on our journeys.
I have decided to post about one real witch who inspires me and a set of witches that are from a TV show.
I will start off with the TV show witches. If any of you know me then you will know I am talking about the Charmed Ones! The Charmed ones are a set of sisters who have some amazing powers. In the 8 seasons that I watched them I was sent through all emotions and back. I survived the death of a sister, birth of 2 baby boys, gods, hordes of demons, and lovers that took the ladies to hell and back! This was a show that I honestly can say I was emotionally invested in. For the first 3 seasons the Charmed Ones actually have experiences with "real" everyday witches. They learn what the holidays are about, they connect with their ancestors, and they visit city witchy shops. From the fourth to the 8th the show took off. The ideas became crazier but were not to disappoint. My favorite episode out of all the seasons was the season finale of the 5th season. The sisters became Goddesses and I think it was great. Of course it is every gay boys dream to one day become Aphrodite and attract all the men in the city. All the sisters had amazing powers but they also wee excellent spell writers (I have actually used some of their rhymes in my spells) and the made amazing potions. I do wish that potions had the effects that theirs did.

Enough with the fake witches, written by some man who probably does not know the first thing about the craft, now onto the real deal. The woman who inspired my whole path and who is responsible for how I have come to finally trust myself and stand in my own power. MADRONE!!


For me Madrone is not only a mentor for my spiritual path, but she is also my spirit mother. She and her partner Rich have invited me to events at their house, introduced me to their friends and answered every question I have had about anything they show me. Madrone is the woman who introduced me to Starhawk's book The Spiral Dance, which jump started my journey. She introduced the goddess to me through the Goddess of the Cinder Moon circles and has shown me the wonders of rituals that are planned and heart felt. She has helped to instill confidence and trust in myself and my intuition. She has opened many a portals for me to gaze into and I have learned a great deal from those journeys. Madrone has been there for me as more than just a mentor, she has become my friend. I am so grateful that 2 and a half years ago I nervously entered into a goddess circle with friends and met the woman who would show me the way back to finding myself.

Thank you Madrone!