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Monday, June 13, 2011

The Goddess was calling me..


The Goddess has a unique way of communicating with us. Not often do I hear Her voice so loud and intense telling me I need to do something. This was not the case though when it came down to my spiritual journey of finding myself and what I need.
For the past few weeks since graduating I have been looking for what I am going to do next. It has been a very hard experience because normally I know what is coming and I prepare for it. Graduation was intense and I feel as if it was an end to an era in which I found me. It is hard to describe but I suppose the correct term would be that I felt like I was in a warm womb and that I was taken care of no matter what happened. I have friends, family, mentors, spiritual advisers, and a university that I felt like I knew plenty of people.
After leaving this comfort I was feeling lost. Nothing was helping this feeling and I did not know what to do. One day while thinking about my struggles I realized that I needed to go on a spiritual journey. I needed to undertake a journey that would help my body mind and soul and one that would provide me with some insight into my life and my path in this life.
I am calling it a cleanse but it is also a spiritual journey. I knew that this cleanse would not just be a boring "no meat" cleanse or no soda or no candy, rather it is going to be an overhaul. This means for me no meat, no candy, no alcohol, no smoking, no facebook, no twitter, and implementing daily practices in my spiritual life. Realizing I was going to be taking on this process I needed to prepare my body.
I started using less facebook and twitter time and this was hard enough but I definitely knew that this journey was going to be amazingly difficult but rewarding.
To gain some insight into this journey I went over to my mentors house and told her about what I was going to be doing. She said that she felt this was a good idea and besides now she wouldn't have to try and keep up with me when we went out. hahaha. This was funny to me but also meant a lot because she has been instrumental in my life for the past 4 years and without her I am not sure I would have discovered my path as soon as I did. She offered some positive advise and then she told me to draw a medicine card for a guide for my journey. The card I drew was Salmon. To read the full description follow this link. The Salmon symbolizes wisdom and inner knowing. This is exactly what I was needing on this journey. The Salmon represents that I have the knowledge that I am seeking but that by doing this cleanse I am going to find that information within myself. For me that is a powerful teacher and guide for the next 4 weeks.
Even after this card I was still having some reservations for my journey so I knew that I needed another guide and would pray on it and see what comes up. I did a tarot reading and my guide that came up was The Empress.
I was confused at first when I saw her as my guide but I was willing to believe that she was pulled because she has something to teach me.
The Empress symbolizes emotional balance as well as fertility. It is not just a fertility of love but a fertility of ideas as well. This queen gives birth to our personal ideas and for my cleanse this is good news. I am happy to have her by my side on this tough journey.


To be honest after having done just 2 days of the cleanse I find myself struggling. The drinking is not a problem to cut out because I only really like nice beers and my friends mostly like hard liquor so I can avoid that easily. The other items I have given up are proving to be rather hard. I really would love to say that I am breezing through this but if I was I would not consider it a challenge or something to gain knowledge from.
Send your support and I will keep all of you posted on how it is going.
I will be posting my daily routine up here in the next few days and just so you know blogging is one of the daily/weekly tasks for me. We shall see how this all goes!!!

Brightest blessings on you all!
Ponderosa

5 comments:

Aine said...

Transition periods are so hard. You spend so much time planning that you are actually surprised when you are suddenly where you have been headed for for so long! It's overwhelming suddenly, which of course should make no sense since it's not like it happened suddenly - and yet it feels like it did.

I think there is no better time to take a spiritual journey. Losing the distractions are an important (and hard) part of that. Hope to hear more about your journey as you go! (I think blogger is ok to use - just consider it journalling!:)

Robin Larkspur said...

This is an impressive and hard task you have taken on; but you have the strength and will and yearning to succeed that will bring you your answers! I send you a bunch of positive energy, good thoughts and enthusiastic support. You are in a time between time...I think you are going to make the most of it!! Blessings and hugs from Robin.

Sylvanna said...

Whether or not you are successful, you will still learn from the experience. Good luck.

Lady RavenFeather said...

This is a hard task, but you WILL accomplish this difficult struggle. Brightest Blessings from Dani :3

TD (Tammy @ Journal of Evolution) said...

Good Luck to you. I hope this journey is everything you need it to be.